I have been avoiding Twitter Lists since they were first introduced because quite frankly it’s nobody’s business but mine how I group my twitter friends. Today I started a Twitter List called “Women Who Kick Ass” and I have a reason for it…

I want to know the women you think kick ass in Social Media.  You know … the ones that are actually out there making the connections, helping others, teaching, speaking, writing, advising, consulting, designing campaigns, evangelising, entertaining, running events … getting on with doing what they do and using the tools of social media.

I don’t care what industry they work in, I only care that you care what they have to say and you think they kick ass.

Here’s my start:  Women Who Kick Ass 

Who would you add?

*Am I up to something? You betcha … not ready to tell just yet.

Are YOU ready for YOUR success?

This question hit me hard and personally.

I’ve never pictured myself or my brand as mediocre. Who does? But it was more than evident the day that huge opportunity knocked on my door.  I wasn’t ready.

I woke up in the morning and checked my email, twitter, etc. There was a message from a friend @cafedave letting me know that @chrisbrogan had mentioned me in his newsletter.  I should be thrilled? Right?  I find the reference:

*****

You’re Doing It Right

You know who does it right, but who rarely gets the attention? The outliers, the fringe players, the people who don’t represent the mainstream. I’ve got three people who I think are doing wonderful things, but who some of you might not see eye-to-eye with. That’s the point, friends. There are many ways to the goal in this game. Here’s my list. (Depending on your work policies, these links might not be considered safe for work.)

Mistress Mia – http://www.mistressmia.com – She’s from Australia, and is showing people what’s right by keeping naughty marketers in line. There’s so much depth to Mia, and following her perspective is a chance to learn a great deal.

Kelly Shibari - http://hourglass8.com/ – Kelly spoke on my stage at an Inbound Marketing Summit. She helps people in the adult industry use social media tools to build their business. The adult industry has been down in revenue at a pace almost identical to the Wall Street Journal over the past few years. Same reason: no one pays for what they can get for free. Kelly’s helping people figure out new models.

Geo Geller – http://www.twittamentary.com – Geo is a professional insultant. He doesn’t tell you want you want to hear; he tells you what you need to know. Geo is also a filmmaker, a legendary disruptor of business, and a brilliant artist of many media. His latest project is called Twittamentary. With Geo, take the whirlwind and extrapolate from his wild ideas. He’s a man you should come to love.

*****

I was of course thrilled and humbled by the opportunity Chris had given … but let me stress this … Chris and I have been sharing ideas online for a year previous to this and I did not get a heads up.  No warning, it just happened.

People of influence are observing every day, they measure you, they know B.S. from substance and when it is relevant they will shine the light on you – ready or not, the light is coming your way.

I was not ready. My server melted within one hour of what I now call “the Brogan effect” I of course had been asleep … damn those timezones. No website I have ever owned over ten years has ever exceeded the server bandwidth, let alone melted it beyond recovery.

So Rah! this happened to me. What does this mean to you?

• Back up your blog NOW!
• Get a dedicated server. Being cheap won’t help you when the traffic flood comes your way.
• Hang your shingle – let people know that you are open to do business, what you do and what you charge.
• Get wet!  Jump all the way in. Back yourself.
• Write for today, it’s all you have. You can’t mark time for anyone.

My blog needed to be rebuilt. @rich_evans from http://redd.com.au came to my rescue and has done a stellar job getting my Thesis Theme back into line. The loss of content made it clear that everything that is past is gone. Social media is about today.  What are you doing to be ready today?

Don’t confuse collaboration with being ripped off blind!

Your generosity should be stewarded in discernment.

Your ideas are valuable to you and others, treat them with respect. Don’t be lazy … write a paper, a manifesto, a blog post, a tweet, take a photograph, a screen shot or make a video. Don’t sell your soul for a cup of coffee with someone you think is more important than you.

Value yourself. Value your ideas. Until you own your worth/value you’ll never convince anyone to pay you money for it.

Your idea is only valuable if it produces. Put it into action. If you don’t someone else will. Action, persevere, adapt and renovate.

Collaboration is where people gather together to “share” and it is worthwhile but it should be mutually beneficial.

Before you meet and “share” know what it is you do and know how much you charge for it – don’t make it hard for people to do business with you. Hang your shingle. If you do this you will never be on the back foot in valuing what you share or wonder how you will get paid.

Consultants are whores selling their time and their minds in exchange for payment. The only difference between a $300 whore and a $3000 whore is how they see themselves. Measurement = do you deliver what you say you will? Do you get repeat business and referrals (I did not say testimonials).

Communication techniques on sharing abound.  Social media is not one big love in. In the end for most it’s just business and in business you get paid.

How do you get paid?

Is social media to blame for an increase in extramarital affairs? I doubt it. More than doubt, I find the idea that a communication channel can be blamed for the choices of individuals as ridiculous as stating “the devil made me do it”. It seems that some counselors in Tulsa would prefer to see married couples unplug in order to avoid betrayal of one’s spouse. I suspect, like dogs in a park full of trees, human beings would have affairs by whatever means necessary. On a taxi ride home from the airport at a time when I was having a long distance relationship, the taxi driver asked me “aren’t you worried that your boyfriend will cheat on you?” I answered “isn’t he worried I may cheat on him? … either way we have trust or we have nothing and if either of us were to cheat it would not be a reflection of the other person.” We can’t hide inside our bedroom closet and cut off communication with the outside world because we fear loss. Fear is the opposite of love. In marriage there is a promise to be faithful, but in everyday there is a choice for both partners. Neither can control the other nor the circumstances or environment surrounding them. You can only ever hold true to yourself, your values, your character and your present moment. I like what my good friend Graham Long @waysidepastor says … “equally free, not equally bound.” The internet has provided us more opportunities and channels to communicate but before we call a witch hunt on social media think a little … I don’t recall anyone blaming the telephone directory because they made it easy for you to find the number and address of your “old flame”.

My final thought is that social media has not contributed to the increase of affairs, but it may well have contributed to the increase in affairs being uncovered. Social media has provided more ways for you to get caught having an affair. Digital signposts left all over cyberspace, makes a network of deceit vulnerable to discovery. A lesson I learnt the hard way, (but thankfully very young) was to NEVER put anything in writing that may incriminate you at a later date. Integrity is character … do no wrong, fear no evil.